“You won’t believe it”, said Mikey Ryan, “but as true as Santa Clause, didn’t I run into Beyoncé Murphy over in Templemore about an hour ago. She swore she was crossing the local petrol station forecourt, just before I pulled in, and you will never guess who she met”.
“Give me a hint”, said I, “or better still surprise me”.
Now, to be quite honest and not wanting to be unkind, but had I realised Mikey Ryan would end up sitting in the next chair, having his hair and eyebrows cut in “Pat The Barber”; you know the place I mean, there beside the Suir, on Emmett Street, close to Barry’s Bridge and the bridge Castle; I would have cancelled that badly needed personal haircut until slightly later in the day.
“He came in driving this state-of-the-art Mercedes-Benz, into the petrol station she told me, and furthermore she confessed to nearly wetting her last pair of Calvin Klein thongs with the pure excitement of this encounter”, said Mikey, “Now go on, guess who it was?”.
“Well was it the Minister for Transport Shane Ross”, said I, “I heard he was down here closing shop on rural publicans”.
“No”, said Mikey “sure the Irish transport minister knows nothing about motor vehicles and even less about publicans, and according to what I hear, he never sat his driving test. No, you’ll never guess, it was the great Rory McIlroy, the golfer, heading for Thurles Golf Club“, said Mikey.
“Oh, you’re very welcome to Tipperary Mr McIlroy, says Beyoncé Murphy, in an excited squeaky voice, having recognised his fizzog from her flat screen television”, Mikey continued.
“Now according to Beyoncé, Rory gave her the ‘twice over’, if you know what I mean, as he bent forward to grab his petrol nozzle. In doing so, two golf tees fell out of his shirt’s top pocket, onto the tarmac.” continued Mikey.
Now from what I knew myself about Miss Murphy, while she was well known in some ball playing circles, however her knowledge of sport could be best described as non-existent. But enough said and personally I wasn’t surprised when Mikey informed me that Beyoncé had asked “What are those two things for?”, as she quickly moved closer to assist with their recovery.
Mikey Continued, “They’re called tees” replies Rory McIlroy with a smile.
A curious and somewhat confused Beyoncé now asks, “Well, what on the God’s green earth would you be using them for Mr McIlroy?
“They’re for resting my balls on before I drive on the golf course,” replies Rory.
“Feckin Jaysus,”, says an enthralled Beyoncé, “Doesn’t Mercedes-Benz think of everything.”
Pic (1): “Quinn Brothers Foursome”. Left – Right: John, Martin, Michael & Billy. Pic (2): “Edel with Medals” together with Martin, Edel & Michael (Note: John & Billy had to fly back to Azerbaijan.)
Four Quinn brothers from the village of Holycross, Thurles, Co. Tipperary, ran the SSE Airtricity Dublin Marathon last weekend in support of the Irish Cancer Society. Their goal was to raise as much funding as possible for Irish Cancer Research.
This project was very close to their heart, given the fact that their sister Edel is terminally ill with multiple myeloma; latter a cancer arising from plasma cells, a type of white blood cell which is made in the bone marrow.
Through the help of the Irish Cancer Research, Edel continues to battles bravely against her illness. Edel is very well known is the community having worked for many years with “Inclusive Opportunities” in Thurles, before being struck down by this illness.
It is most certainly a record to have four brothers from the same family and from the same village of Holycross to run in the Dublin City Marathon; if not a record for the county of Tipperary itself.
The brothers ran very well in the marathon with some impressive times. Billy (3hrs-23 mins), Michael (3hrs-57mins), Martin (4 hrs) and John (4hrs-51mins). However, they also managed to raise well over 12,500 Euro and are not completely finished yet.
Between the four brothers and three of their wife’s, they have completed over 41 marathons in the past few years.
Congratulations to all four brothers on their truly massive achievement.
The next Thurles race meeting, latter scheduled for the October 11th next, has been postponed due to a lack of rainfall being forecast over the next 7 days.
Thurles Race Track; located 1.5km north-west of the town centre, is a North Tipperary horse racing venue, which stages National Hunt racing. Racing has taken place here in Thurles since 1732, when a three-day festival took place in the town.
Yesterday it was announced that the October 11th meeting should now be re-scheduled to take place on November 12th.
The decision was taken because of “present ground conditions at the venue and an adverse weather forecast over the coming days”, according to Turf Club sources.
Horse Racing Ireland have confirmed that, following a routine course inspection, it identified ground concerns; with the track being deemed way to fast. With the absence of any real rainfall forecast over the next seven days, a decision was made to cancel the meeting.
It is widely expected that the 48-year-old Mr Sheedy will be recommended for full ratification at next Monday night’s county board meeting, thus succeeding Mr Michael Ryan, latter who resigned last month in the wake of a disastrous season with Tipperary.
All-Ireland U-21-winning manager Mr Liam Cahill and the former All-Ireland-winning minor boss, Mr Willie Maher, had been identified as possible clear frontrunners to fill this vacancy, previous to the appearance of the rather unexpected candidature of Mr Sheedy, latter who only showed an interest in the role in recent days.
We understand that Mr Sheedy, a native of the village of Portroe in north Co. Tipperary met with Tipperary officials in the Horse and Jockey Hotel, Thurles, in recent days and will now be proposed for ratification as the next manager of the Premier County in the coming days.
“Féile Classical” will take place in Semple Stadium, Thurles this coming weekend. Bands performing will include ‘The Stunning’, ‘Hothouse Flowers’, ‘An Emotional Fish’, ‘Something Happens’, ‘The 4 of Us’, ‘The Frank & Walters’; all with special guests and all performing alongside the Irish Chamber Orchestra. This festival will be fully seated and complete with organised food stalls and bar facilities.
From tomorrow, this two day event [Friday and Saturday, 21st and 22nd September 2018], Semple Stadium and Thurles town here in Co. Tipperary, (after 28 years), are happy to make welcome once again 10,000 expected attending guests.
All traffic travelling to this event will be directed along designated routes thus ensuring that all persons arrive at a chosen car park designated for that particular route. Each route will be colour coded and will coincide with the car parks in that area.
Access Routes:
There will be 3 primary vehicle access routes to this event, which will be colour coded as follows: Red – Vehicles approaching from East/South. Blue – Vehicles approaching from North/West. Purple – Local vehicular traffic via R660.
Emergency Routes:
Emergency routes will be maintained for all emergency services. They will be designated as a Yellow route.
Signage:
All routes, both to and from the concert venue, together with car parks will be clearly signposted. The organisers in conjunction with An Garda Siochána will ensure adequate signage is put in place the day before this event; same to help ease traffic flow, thus providing full information to all patrons attending and leaving this event.
Security:
Patrons are please asked to park in supervised car parks and remember to secure and lock all vehicles, leaving no possessions or other valuables on display.
NB: Ploughing Championship Traffic:
All patrons should note that the newly extended National Ploughing Championships are also taking place in Tullamore on tomorrow Friday the 21st of September 2018 and therefore extra traffic can be expected, returning through Thurles town at the same time as concert goers are arriving. Therefore it is advisable to allow extra time for your journey to Féile Classical.
A regular pundit on TV’s ‘The Sunday Game’, combined with his employment at a leading financial institution, Mr Liam Sheedy looks set to make a sensational return to the post of Tipperary Hurling Manager, some eight years 
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