Yesterday, former model and newly married Thurles desperate housewife, Mrs Britney Ryan accompanied her rather peaky-looking husband, Tyler Ryan (Casey), to the local doctor’s office.
After the doctor had completed his check up, he asked Britney to remain in his office alone. Sitting her down, he informed her, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder and if you don’t follow my instructions carefully and precisely, I am afraid your husband won’t see next Christmas”.
“What should I do then”, asked Britney
“To avoid this” continued the doctor “He needs building up. Each morning fix him up with perhaps a Raspberry and Apple or a Kale smoothie, followed by a healthy full Irish breakfast. Try to be pleasant and cheerful at all times, no matter what happens.”
“For lunch” said the doctor “May I suggest perhaps something like a Rainbow Chopped Salad tossed with a lemony herbed Greek yogurt dressing, or Curried spinach & lentil soup followed by Fresh Spring Rolls. Maybe some Green Pesto Minestrone, followed by a small portion of Tikka Masala, might be another nutritious idea.
“But most of all it is important that you make sure you do not burden him with chores or DIY projects around the house” warned the doctor, “And even more important still, don’t discuss your own personal problems with him.
“And then of course there is dinner in the evening and again if I might suggest you vary his menu. Medium fillet steak with pan fried onions and a thick creamy mushroom sauce, or perhaps a Chicken Satay Salad, or King Prawns with Harissa Spaghetti, another alternative could be Fresh Salmon with a Thai noodle salad“, the doctor continued.
If you follow these rules for the next 6 months, I think your husband will be on the road to full recovery very soon. Bring him back in a month and we can assess his progress”
On the way home Tyler asked Britney “Well, what did the doctor have to say to you about my condition”.
“The doctor has confirmed you’re going to die before the month is out” replied Britney.
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