Unpublished Fable Found In Tipperary

A ‘Fable’, as every parent is aware, is a short story which helps illustrate particular morals to younger children. These stories, tales or parables are often humorous and entertaining for children of all ages, but also bear a strong message in their simple narrative.

The unpublished ‘Fable’ recently unearthed in Co. Tipperary

Dáil Éireann any given Friday.

“The weathermen at Dáil Éireann had assured our five elected Tipperary politicians that there was no chance of any rain falling over the coming weekend. So Matt, Al, Mick, Sham & Jacksie decided to take a well earned break, at the tax payers expense. They were to stay secretly at the €52.2 million Irish government purchased & refurbished, 78 acre, Irish State guest house, situated at Farmleigh, near Castleknock, Co Dublin.,

Although vulture fund free, it had been rumoured that the Anti-Austerity Alliance (AAA or Triple A) could quickly hand over this building to Dublin’s homeless, should they get their way, so this once in a lifetime weekend away opportunity was not to be missed.

Working their 3 day Dáil week, with no large funeral attendances expected in Co. Tipperary, which they needed to be spotted at; their intention was to go fly fishing on the estates boat lake, from Friday evening to Monday evening inclusive.

While checking their suit cases into the Steward’s Lodge, located in the grounds of Farmleigh, they met the chief gardener with his donkey. Upon seeing the Tipperary elected reps, the gardener, with bowed head and cap in hand, warned, “Distinguished Gentlemen, you should return to the guest house at once, for in just a short time I expect a huge deluge of rain to fall, mainly in this area”.

The politicians immediately shook hands with the simple gardener, but having considered his advice replied, “We hold the Dáil Éireann meteorologist service in high regard. Basically, unlike ourselves, they are extensively educated and an experienced group of true professionals. Besides, we pay them very high wages, and therefore it is only right that we place our trust in them and continue on to our fishing location”.

Ignoring the gardener, the politicians continued on their way, but alas sure enough within a short time later, torrential rain fell from the heavens, soaking our five elected representatives to the skin. Furious, the Tipp politicians returned to Dáil Éireann the following Tuesday morning and following a full independent enquiry, by the head of RTE, they ruled that all professional weathermen in the Lower House and principal chamber of the the Oireachtas (The Irish Legislature) be immediately fired with full pension entitlements.

Then they summoned the Farmleigh gardener and offered him the prestigious and high paying post of ‘Dáil Éireann Forecaster’. The simple gardener said “Sirs, you who wield such magnificent power over our country, I do not know anything about weather forecasting. I simply obtain my information from my dumb old donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that torrential rain will fall within the hour”.

So following the passing of a Clerical Officer Public Jobs assessment by the gardener and his donkey, the Tipperary politicians went on to hire both, on high pensionable wages.
So thus began the continuing practice of hiring unsackable ‘Dumb Asses and Consultants’ to work in Dáil Éireann; and the further practise of paying outrageous salaries to those who occupy the highest and most influential positions in that esteemed pile of stones which houses our countries elected reps.”