Let’s be honest, for a couple, living in a two roomed apartment, it can be difficult at the best of times. Now add one 8 year old son to this company and other problems arise. One problem of course is the difficulty a couple, living in such circumstances, can experience when it comes to getting some, shall we say, “Intimate Time,” together.
Paddy and Mary believed they had their particular problem solved. They simply sent their young 8 year old son, Malcolm, out on the balcony to chew a Mars Bar, asking him to report loudly on all of the street activities he could observed below him.
One Sunday afternoon their biddable son, Malcolm, began his afternoon commentary from the first floor balcony, as his parents went about “putting their plans into operation.”
Malcolm began as usual with his loud commentary.
“There’s a car being towed away from the car park.” he shouted.
“An ambulance has just driven off taking old Mrs Walsh to hospital again.”
“Looks like the Pattersons are having visitors to tea.” he called out.
“I see Matthew Pollard is riding a new bike.”
“Looks like the Fitzgeralds are moving house.” he remarked
“There goes John Hassett past, on his skate board.” he continued.
There was silence for a moment and then Malcolm announced loudly, “The Ryans are having intimate time in their bedroom.”
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, “How do you know that Malcolm?”
“Jimmy Ryan is standing out on his balcony chewing a Mars Bar.” replied Malcolm.
Malcolm is a very OBSERVANT 8 year old son.
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu….
+Tourist: €5.00
+Broiled Missionary: €10.00
+Fried Explorer: €15.00
+Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: €100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
“Why such a high price for the Politicians?”
The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of sh***t, it takes all morning.“
A lady walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
The pharmacist asks “Ma’am, what do you want with arsenic?”
The lady says “To kill my husband.”
“I can’t sell you any for that reason,” says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband having sex with the pharmacist’s wife.
He looks at the photo and says “Oh, pardon me, I didn’t realize you had a prescription.“
ROSES & HANGING BASKETS
A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her ‘Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!’ and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate….
The grandmother says, ‘Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets.
Happy Gardening.