Mother’s Day-Mum You’d Be Better Off In Prison

Happy Mother's Day

Mum, in prison you would get three square meals a day cooked for you.
At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to persuade your kids to eat it.
In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.
At home you get to clean up the yard.
In prison, you get to watch TV.
At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control.
In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.
At home, you get to read school readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send your adorable brat to college, while still being able to eat for the next twenty years.
In prison, all your medical bills are free.
At home, you have to pawn your mother’s jewelry and fill out large amount of insurance papers in the hope that a doctor will see you before you die.
In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready to go.
At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean after your guests and hope that they will one day just leave.
In prison, you can spend your free time reading or writing or just hang out doing nothing in your own free space all day.
At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, and what the heck is free time again?
In prison, you get your own personal toilet.
At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep family members from standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done, so you can do something for them.
In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.
At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.
In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.
At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.
In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.
At home, you have to lug around everybody else’s stuff in your purse and then wonder who went into it and took your last dollar.
In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t.