It had come to my attention that I hadn’t seen Johnny Hayes, from the Watery Mall, in recent weeks. So, when I ran into Mikey Ryan in the Arch Bar here in Thurles, last night, I broached the question as to where he might have suddenly vanished.
Mikey had just come off his iPhone, having organising his costume for the 56th annual Littleton “Star Treck” celebrations, this coming month.
[By the way, this year Mikey hopes to win the best costume competition. He is appearing, wearing a ‘Tree Trunk’, representing the ‘Captains Log’.]
“No sure it would be strange if you had seen him”, said Mikey, “Sure Johnny’s resting above in St. Patricks”.
“Holy God and his Mother”, said I, “I never heard; how long is he dead?”
“If he had lived until next Saturday”, said Mikey, “he’d have been dead a full month”.
“Good Lord, I’m totally shocked”, said I, “Sure last time we met he was in great form; how did he die?“
“Ah, it was nothing serious”, said Mikey, “It was a workplace accident, didn’t a Tipperary Co. Council stream roller run over his fingers”.
“But sure that wouldn’t kill a strong, healthy man like Johnny”, said I.
“Indeed it would”, said Mikey, “Sure wasn’t he picking his nose at the time”.
“God love him, he was fierce unlucky. Then again it was always the case with Johnny, as long as I knew him anyway; if he had been playing doctors and nurses, he’d have been the ambulance driver”, continued Mikey.
“Two half ones there, Pat,” said I, “and we’ll raise a glass to his memory”.
NICE ONE