“I see Thurles Municipal District Council has purchased a new sign, currently pointing in the right direction”, said I to Mikey Ryan, as we headed down Cathedral Street, for ‘The Arch Bar‘ yesterday, to drown a slight thirst.
“Surely everyone in Thurles and its environs knows where the feckin Swimming Pool is in Thurles, by now”, said a shocked Mikey.
“I would think it’s something to do with the sudden influx of foreigners coming into Thurles, from the Ukraine and other places”, said I, and then of course people might be attracted to come down from Dublin, on the train, to make use of the facility.
“Some local monkey will end up swinging out of that after sniffing a bit too much white powder some night” said Mikey “Anyway people would be better off paying no attention to those feckin council signs”.
“Why do you say that”, said I, somewhat confused.
“I’ll tell you why”, said Mikey, “a Thurles Garda friend of mine was sitting in his squad car, watching for speeding vehicles, near Two-Mile-Borris last week. He sees a car ‘puttering’ along at 3km and decides that this car is almost as dangerous as a speedering young lad, before pulling it over”.
As he walks up to the car a little old lady rolls down the window and asks “Is there something wrong officer?”
“Well, yes,” says my cop friend, “Why are you driving so slowly?”
“I’m following the speed limit,” says the little old lady, very confused “the sign back there says Turnpike 3km.”
“You’re mistaken ma’am”, said my cop friend “that sign was to tell you that the distance to the Turnpike is 3km, the speed limit here is 60km.”
“Oh deary me ,” says the woman very embarrassed, “I am so sorry officer, I promise I will pay closer attention to the signs in future.”
“At this point”, said Mikey, “the Garda notices the other passengers in the car; three other elderly women, all very pale faced and wide-eyed, clutching their armrests with white-knuckled hands”.
“Ma’am,” asks my now concerned cop friend “are your passengers alright? They look somewhat shaken.”
“Oh, they’ll be fine, dear,” says the elderly woman “we just turned off the M7 and M8, Dublin to Cork route, which said 259km.
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