Gender Equality May Require Further Research.

The Irish Primary Counter-Terrorism and Counter-Espionage Investigative Unit, perhaps better known as the Special Detective Unit (SDU) found themselves with a new job opportunity. They found it necessary to employ an assassin.

After a series of stringent background checks, interviews and medical tests were complete, only three finalists, it was unanimously agreed, were found possibly suitable for the solo post.

With Fine Gael insisting that gender equality should be higher on civil service job itineraries, the interviewing Agent decided to include one woman and two men.

To decide the most suitable person for the job, the panel of Agents took one of the men to a large metal door, before handing him a Walther PPK 7.65mm pistol.

“Now”, said the interviewing Chief Agent, “It is necessary that we know that you will follow all instructions given to you, to the very letter of the law, and regardless of circumstances. So, inside this room you will find your wife blindfolded sitting in a chair; your chosen assignment is to kill her.”

The first chosen applicant was shocked, “You must be off your heads, sure I could never shoot my wife.”

“Then” replied the Chief Agent, “I am afraid you are hereby found unsuitable for this post, so take yourself and your wife home.”

The second chosen male applicant was summoned to the metal door and given the same instructions. He took the pistol and went into the room. There was silence for about 10 minutes, before the door again opened, to show the man in tears; stating that he could never kill his wife.

Again, the Chief Agent stated “You do not have what it takes, to succeed to the required post, so take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the the turn of the woman.  She was given the same instructions, but this time to kill her husband. Taking the pistol she quickly entered through the metal door. Eight shots were heard, one after the other, in quick succession. Then came the crashing, banging and screaming.

After a few minutes, all went deadly quiet. Then the metal door slowly opened and an angry woman emerged, wiping blood and sweat from her face and forehead. ” You bastards”, she said, “This gun was loaded with blanks, so, I had to beat him to death with a chair leg.”