A large fire sale of an island and it’s contents, the former which is the third largest in Europe and the twentieth largest in the world, is expected to take place shortly as part of a Bankruptcy and Liquidation auction here in Co Tipperary.
This valuable but presently bankrupt property lies to the northwest of continental Europe and is surrounded by many little islands and costal inlets.
Valuable Island Property Auction
To the east of the island lies the mainland, separated from the island by a sea formally known as U-boat Alley. Latter holds great economic importance to regional trade, through shipping and transport, fishing and power generation, in the form of wind power and nuclear plants. Annual traffic between this island and the mainland amounts to over 12 million passengers and 17 million tonnes of traded goods.
Ports in the island use to handle 3,600,000 travellers crossing the sea each year, amounting to 92% of all sea travel. This has been steadily dropping for a number of years, 20% indeed since 1999, probably as a result of low cost airlines.
The island has lush vegetation, a product of its mild but changeable oceanic climate, which avoids extremes in temperature. Thick woodlands covered this island until the 17th century. Today, regrettably it is the most deforested area of Europe. There are twenty six extant mammal species native to this island paradise.
Relatively low lying mountains surround a central plain which epitomise the islands geography with several navigable river and now neglected canals, extending inland.
Despite its mild climate, this island suffers from a shortage of water after any seven days of continued sunshine, which to be fair, latter is a rare occurrence on the island, but water is available in small plastic bottles, mainly imported from other countries and sold at 50% more than the cost of basic motor fuels.
Roads on the island are in bad repair and may effect the overall expected sale price. Rural car owners are discouraged from entering major large cities due to the recent introduction of ‘Tolls’ on new motorways. e.g. A theatre ticket in the Capital city costs €20, but when ‘Motorway Toll’ charges costing €9.60 per round trips extra are added, rural hicks who foolishly leave their local environments in search of entertainment, staged especially for the more discerning urban celebrity types, now find themselves financially disadvantaged.
A strong indigenous culture did once exist on the island, expressed through native sports, music and a very fine descriptive native language. However today, a common western culture is to the fore, expressed through contemporary Rock and Hip Hop music, weird stage dramas, and foreign games, such as soccer, rugby and golf, and a preference for the English language.
Much interest is being expressed by foreign business men in this sale since the crime rate is considered low by American standards, with only one murder a day on average and for prospective purchasers with a regular drug habit, well “Welcome to the Tartar king Kubla Khan’s purpose built Xanadu.”
The population of the island, which originally numbered approximately 4.5 million people, is made up of mainly unemployed, well educated, working class nomadic peasants, latter who are now rapidly departing to other countries like Australia in search of soft work. Most of the more wealthy inhabitants and those lucky to have gotten their Skills and Competencies Certificates, are moving abroad determined on further improving their now avaricious life styles, by opening factories in countries which still permit the use of slave labour and highly productive sweat shops.
Prospective buyers should note that in the event of any sale agreement, exorbitant taxes will be introduced by the present appointed European Governors of the island, on all remaining peasants, thus encouraging a quick and hurried exodus and facilitating a smooth take over by any new, hoped for owner or future occupier.
The asking price for this island is €5 trillion, (Cash preferred sale, no phone bids.) of which €3 trillion will be used to pay off the islands current foreign debt to bond holders and financial speculators known as investors, while the remaining €2 trillion will be divided up amongst Politicians, high ranking Bank Officials, Union Heads, Senior Civil Servants and Executives of the islands Health Service, if still resident, latter payment being part of their guaranteed annual bonus for implementing major economic cost saving measures.
Purchasers should also be aware that rumours abound with regard to part of the islands title deed and conflict appears to still exists in respect of actual land ownership in the northern area of the island, which we understand at this time of going to press remains unresolved.
Interested purchasers are asked to contact the firm of Green, Independant Fianna Fail & Co, renowned property wheeler dealers, developers and mobile phone sales executives, presently taxed with acting for the liquidators on the sale of this truly valuable island property.
For further details regarding this exciting auction contact Telephone Number: +353 1 618 3000.
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